lost

How would you feel if you “lost” your 2 closest friends the instant a decision was made and now only interact with them about a tenth or so as much as before?  (Hey, at least you can still interact with them you say.  At least they are not dead or really lost.  That is a good thing. J)  And why don’t y’all interact as much as before?  On a good day, when you are playing “strong,” you tell yourself it is because your lives are on different courses now.  You are no longer in the same groups that may have been the only reason you ever saw each other (one reason why you are now disillusioned with homegroup-based churches).  They are busy.  But on days when you are thinking with your feelings you tell yourself, “I am incredibly insecure.”  If you were friends then they would want to hang out with you more than they are now.  How would that make you feel?  


This is no one's fault.  I AM learning that my value, of greater worth than gold, comes from God alone.  Man is nothing, compared to God.  




CLARIFICATION:  I do initiate with people, some people say too much.  But my self esteem starts to plummet if I am the only one to ever initiate.  So I initiate once and then wait for them to initiate the next time but if that takes too long I break down and initiate again for fear that I may never see them.