Monday, June 25, 2012

thoughts vs. feelings

People always get into arguments with me over this.  A common phrase nowadays that was not common a few years ago is, "I feel like..."  People usually follow this with the explanation of a thought and not a feeling.  I THINK people, especially me, have trouble identifying how they are feeling.  When I say, "I feel like they are stupid for doing something idiotic" it would actually benefit me more to realize that I am merely frustrated and need to move on.  But if I spend my time ranting about "how I feel," I may never stop to identify how I actually feel.

Instead may I suggest saying "I think... (insert thought here) or "I feel... (insert feeling here).  Or better yet, "I feel like (feeling!) because (thought!).  Yes, bring it all together.  A feeling is expressed by a feeling word (e.g. frustrated, lonely, confused, etc.)  The list goes on and on.  You may want to create a feelings list.  Try to come up with hundreds.  I bet that would help (I still need to do this).  And a thought is... Well, we know what a thought is.    

I should thank Listening for Heaven's Sake (Apples of Gold) for some of these thoughts.  And all of the people in the past few years who have forced me to tell them how I felt when I was only telling them what I thought.  I do think it is important to get this right.

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